FEEL

A Coaching Model By Akriti Adhikari, Women Confidence Coach, UNITED KINGDOM

FEEL

My coaching model FEEL is based on my experience as a client, coach, and self-coach.

Somehow I feel it is key to connect with the feelings of the client. Understanding the emotions of the client helps us to have a deeper connection with them. I have applied this model to self-coach or to coach my clients.

As my niche is to coach Women and help them transform their life by gaining more clarity & confidence. I think this model works very well to connect with women. The better understanding I have of the client’s feelings, the deeper connection and trust I build with them. The entire theme of my coaching is surrounded by feelings. There are key elements of the model – FIND EXPLORE ENHANCE LEARN

FIND: As a coach, it is key for me to identify a client’s feelings. Find out what is going on with them. What is it they want to discuss?

For example, a client came to me saying that she was just not comfortable speaking in front of another male colleague in the meeting. But she has the desire to speak up. In this case, ‘Discomfort’ was one of the feelings. Then we started discussing what leads to this feeling of discomfort every time she speaks in front of them.

EXPLORE: Once the feeling is identified, the next step is to explore the feeling. What is feeling, and how does it feel in the body and mind? What are the other instances when the client has felt the same way?

Going back to my example – I started digging deeper into the feeling of discomfort. What were the other instances when she felt the same? What happens when she speaks up? Has anything happened in the past? These questions help me to explore the feeling and understand what is triggering the feeling. After digging deeper I understood that this feeling of discomfort is only when my client is at work with male colleagues. Because she was new in the company and felt that her point of view may not be valued in the meeting. There was a fear of rejection. Hence, Fear was one of the main feelings which were leading to the feeling of Discomfort.

EMBRACE: Once the feeling is explored well and triggers are identified. A coach should wait for the stage where the client embraces or acknowledges the feeling and the cause of the same. This would only come once the client understands the complete cause and effect of the feeling that is leading to the problem.

In my example, the client could relate that the feeling of discomfort in front of a male colleague was happening only when she had the fear of being judged or had a fear of being rejected at work. And this instance was repeated multiple times in different situations. Not in one company but in the previous company as well. When the client explores the complete situation, she could embrace or accept that the fear of being judged or failing is only a perception in her mind. Because there was one bad experience, her mind was telling her not to speak. This was the Aha moment!

LEARN: Once the feeling is embraced well by the client. The step of learning from awareness is needed. As a coach, I would then help the client to use the learning in other instances of life. Once the learning takes place, the next step is to set up some actions to deal with such feelings in the future.

In the example referred to above, the client learned that the feeling of fear or judgment is triggered because she judged herself every time she wanted to participate in the meeting. She decided to overcome this feeling by speaking up in 1-1 meetings with male colleagues first. This would help her negate her perception of herself. Once, she believed in herself then she decided to take a step forward and participate in bigger forums.

Hence, I would like to conclude that the FEEL model helps me understand my clients very well and it is truly beneficial to build a strong foundation with my clients.