The term mature scene is “an experience of disorientation and reorientation . . . in multiple domains: physical (changes in body, hormonal fluctuations); psychological (e.g., identity, personality, defensive structure, self-esteem); social (e.g., re-evaluation of friendships, the forgiveness of loved ones, gains in social status, or loss of professional status), and spiritual (e.g., existential questioning, re-commitment to faith, increased religious/spiritual practices).. 1 Helping mothers to go through this period of change means helping them find their “new identity” and understanding what this new stage of life means for them. The following coaching model intends to help mothers identify their new selves and take steps to cope with the new reality with a focus on taking care of themselves. The National Institute of Mental Health defines self-care as “taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical and mental health” 2. Self-care in the coaching context means encouraging the client within and in between sessions to focus on themselves, look internally, and take an active role in their well-being.
The SELF-CARE Coaching Model
SELF-CARE is an Acronym for:
Seeing
Exploring
Learning
Forming
Creation
Accountability & Support
Reflection
Empower
Purpose:
The SELF CARE Model will help mothers define goals to enhance their overall well-being through changes they can easily implement in their lives. The first step is about connecting mothers with their SELF. This step is almost like putting a mirror in front of the client to only focus on themselves – their purpose, their values, their strength, underlying beliefs, and eventually their needs. At the end of these first steps, the client will walk out with SMART Goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound). The CARE part is where the change will happen as the client will come up with concrete actionable steps with the support of the coach to reach their goals. In this period the model will help the client to reflect on the goals and the related actions and adjust them accordingly. In this stage, the client will also understand supporting mechanisms and potential barriers as well as ways to overcome them. Additionally, the coach is empowering the client by acknowledging and celebrating their progress.
The Coaching Steps in Depth:
Seeing: Clients are encouraged to look at their inner selves to understand their strengths, values, beliefs, and current state.
Exploring: This could include looking at their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs and how these areas contribute to their overall well-being.
Learning: This includes understanding the gaps between their current stage and what is needed to build the bridge between the two.
Forming of Goals: Help the client to establish SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) goals.
Creating Action Plans: Break down the action steps into smaller, achievable tasks. This might include encouraging the “Tiny Habits”3 concept.
Accountability and Support: The coach helps the client to understand how they can stay accountable for their own goals. This also includes discussing potential obstacles and developing strategies to overcome them. Additionally, the client will explore supporting mechanisms.
Reflect and Adjustment: Through the coaching relationship, the coach invites the client to reflect on the progress. This can happen in individual sessions but also throughout the relationship. The client is encouraged to make adjustments if necessary. (This might also be a moment for the coach to reflect on the approach.)
Empower: Through acknowledgement and celebration the coach is helping the client to stay on track and even outside the box.
The Model in Practice
Going through the process of matrescene means reorientation and for that reason, the model can help the mother process her identity since she became a mother. For that reason, it is essential to help mothers connect with themselves to really understand the “who” before moving forward into implementing changes in their lives. Focusing on the “who” first is important to make the client create self-awareness and focus on their inner self instead of focusing on what they think is expected from the environment. (For further exploration see power tool self-awareness vs. self-consciousness)
The Self-Care model can be experienced in a singular session but also throughout several sessions with a focus on the “Self “ first before going into the “Care” stage. Exploring the “SELF” can happen in every stage of a single coaching session.
The model can be used in a pure coaching session but tools might be used to further reflect on topics.
Tools Supporting the Model
Power Tool: Self-Awareness vs. Self-Consciousness
Wheel of Life4
Habit Tracker5
Journaling
Reference
1 Athan, A. M., & Reel, H. L. (2015). Maternal psychology: Reflections on the 20th anniversary of Deconstructing Developmental Psychology. Feminism & Psychology, 25, 311–325.
2 https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health
3 https://tinyhabits.com/
4 https://positivepsychology.com/wheel-of-life-coaching/
5 Habit Tracker