Finding Home Within Yourself

A Coaching Model By Maurizio Salucci, Transformational Coach, ITALY

Finding Home Within Yourself

Most people’s first few years of life are characterized by spontaneity, fun, creativity, learning, and advancement. We go toward the things that are comfortable for us and come naturally at this point.

As we age, the majority of us come into regular touch with social influence in all of its diverse manifestations. Social influence may come in a variety of forms. One instance of such influence is conformity, which happens when a person takes on the opinions or habits of others. This typically occurs in groups when a person conforms to the social standards that are supported by the majority of the group members.

When people lack faith in their own expertise, they turn to others in the hopes that others will provide them with the proper information they need to make educated decisions. The person is influenced by society if they believe this knowledge, regardless of whether it is true.

Influence from normative social norms is a second sort of compliance. People desire to “fit in” with their friends and coworkers and to be liked and appreciated for who they are. They respect the views of other group members and work to preserve their standing. Individuals will therefore modify their views and conduct to conform to the recognized standards of the group.

As a result, we start to doubt the meaning of our lives, who we are, why we are doing this, what we actually want, what I genuinely like, and other things as we go along. This emotion might sneak into your life gradually or come with a tremendous boom.

This unease is a lovely invitation to ponder these issues and discover what a satisfying and meaningful life entails.

It might be difficult and intimidating to honestly examine your current situation, your goals, and your objectives. In order to use this invitation to reconnect with yourself and build a satisfying life of meaning and purpose on your terms, you may engage a competent coach to help you find the answers.

Finding Home Within Yourself – A Coaching Model to Discover Who You Are

Know thyself-  Socrates

This model can be applied to an individual person or to a group of people. It can be valuable to people who want to know and understand themselves better, to people who feel insecure and have self-doubts about themselves, to people who want to implement “small” or “big” changes in their lives, to people who feel lost, to overcome fears and limitations, and much more. The client goes through the stages and focuses on making “small” changes that can have a big impact.

Process

Step 1 – Identify Your Values

Our ideas, behaviors, actions, and decisions are governed by our values. They outline our identities and aspirations. Going against our principles causes us to feel disconnected, which might make us unhappy. While they generally remain constant throughout the course of our lives, they occasionally shift as a result of external circumstances.

This exercise will help understand what matters to you by answering some questions. For instance:

• Remember your happiest time: what were you doing? With whom were you? What elements influenced your happiness?
• Remember your proudest moment: what were you doing? Who were you with? What elements led to your pride?
• What makes you angry and frustrated around you, in your community, or in the world as a whole?
• What fires you up?

After that, you may pick your fundamental values from a list.

Step 2 – Understand What Energises and Drains You

A strength is something you excel at, like doing, and do frequently. When you play to your strengths, you feel inspired and energized. You discover that when you’re in the zone, at your best, and out of time. You will discover your drainers on the other end. They are hobbies and chores that deplete your energy and that you frequently put off, neglect, or postpone until the last minute.

By responding to a few introspective questions and going through a list of strengths, you might discover what motivates and exhausts you. Depending on the client, we may also start with tools like the VIA Strengths Survey or Strengthsfinder.

Step 3 – Learn About Your Personality Traits

Numerous characteristics that make up our personality explain why we behave, communicate, and make decisions in the ways that we do. Although our personality types are generally consistent, they might vary slightly as we age and as our experiences shape the way we behave.

The first step to getting to know yourself better is to identify and explore your personality type. Considering that you’ll finally get why certain things seem proper or bad. Why some people are easier to get along with and work well with than others? reasons you love or despise your work.

We may utilize The Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory (MBTI) as a starting point before engaging in a coaching discussion regarding personality.

Step 3 – Assess Your Skills

Skills are something you’ve picked up via study or practical application. They demonstrate your abilities, but you should be mindful that they might not be activities you find enjoyable. Examining your abilities is always a fascinating phase since it enables you to consider what can provide for your family rather than pursuing your passion.

How do you determine which talents you possess? Consider all of the activities and employment you have had in the past. Consider the questions that people ask you to answer. Consider the lessons you can impart to others. Consider the things you can build with your own two hands.

In order to go deeper and have a more clear vision of your distinctive abilities, we can also refer to some categories such as Relationship skills, Communication skills, Analytical, Creative, Physical/technical, and Leadership skills.

Step 4 – Clarify Your Vision of the Future

We will discuss your goals now that you have a better understanding of who you are.

It is not necessary for the image to be in great detail. There may be some haze. It’s aspired to. It will most likely alter. But it will serve as your compass, north star, and red thread.

Make sure to put your vision in writing so you can refer to it later, renew your memory of it, and, most importantly, take action to make it a reality.

• What are you going to focus your energies on? What kind of work do you do? What interests you (hobbies etc.)?
• Who are the people around you?
• What does an average day/week look like?
• How do you see yourself?
• How do you want to feel?
• What environment do you live in?

Step 5 – Go For It!

It is now the right time to start implementing your vision by taking action toward your desired life/goals.

• What is missing between today’s reality and your future vision?
• What needs to be resolved?
• What issues or obstacles are preventing you from achieving your goals?
• Are there things you are not doing or might now do?
• What can you do starting today? What can you stop doing starting today?
• How will you hold yourself accountable to the goal(s) you set today?
• How will you support your commitment to this action?
• What kind of support do you need?

Clients may desire to change how they accomplish their goals or even the nature of their goals as they develop into more authentic versions of themselves. Additionally, outside factors might alter throughout the route. The circumstances and the parties involved may have changed since our last coaching session. It’s crucial to be adaptable and prepared for any change.

The entire process is dynamic rather than linear, and it is at the client’s pace.

References

https://www.psychologistworld.com/influence/social-influence
https://thoughtcatalog.com/ann-midori/2013/11/how-to-grow-up-without-losing-who-you-are/
https://www.cushyvalues.com/how-does-society-influence-self-image/
https://www.peopleatheartcoaching.com/know-yourself-better