The Teen DRIVER Coaching Model

A Coaching Model By Josh Bolland, Teen and Parent Coach, BRAZIL

Teen DRIVER – Structured Conversations for the Teenage Mind

When I first started my training as a coach, I was excited, as a high school guidance counselor,  by the prospect of having a powerful tool at my disposal to help the teenagers I worked with. When I learned that coaching was primarily based on Adult Learning Theory, I worried it might not work with them. Would teenagers respond in the same way as adults to coaching? Thankfully, there were teachers from ICA whose experience with coaching teenagers quickly put my fear to rest. Since then, my own experience with using coaching at school has confirmed this. Coaching can be a powerful tool to help teenagers create and advance toward their own personal goals.

Adolescence is a period in teenagers’ lives marked by changes in biology, personality, relationships, and values, only to name a few. It is also a period where important decisions about their future will be made. They are asked to make choices about the next steps in education and careers. Add to this mix a brain lacking important executive function skills needed for making good decisions and you have a recipe for a lot of stress and frustration from teenagers… and anyone who has to live with them!

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Teenagers want to connect. They want to understand themselves and they have big aspirations, even if they find it difficult to express them. What they are looking for is someone who they can trust and to whom they can express their dreams without judgment. They aren’t looking for someone who will tell them what to do as much as someone who is willing to help them figure out how to move toward their desires. As coaches, we can partner with teenagers and provide them with a safe space and a structured conversation that helps them visualize their goals and create steps to reach them.

The Teen DRIVER Model

An important right of passage for most American teenagers is learning how to drive. This right of passage is one of the first steps toward an American teenager’s independence and sense of freedom. Once they complete their training and get their driver’s license, a lot of new possibilities and responsibilities open up. But before they take their driver’s license test, they need to learn how to drive the car. And they don’t learn to do this by themselves. A responsible adult accompanies them and teaches them how to use the car and how to drive it. The adult becomes their co-pilot. Eventually, when the teen driver becomes comfortable with the workings of the car, the teen and their co-pilot will go for long drives with the teen choosing the destination and practicing their driving skills in new surroundings.

It was with these ideas in mind that I developed the Teen DRIVER model of coaching. In this model, the teenager is placed in the role of driving their life and choosing their destinations. The coach accompanies them as a co-pilot and uses the following structure to help the teen learn more about themselves and the journey they want to embark on when they finally get their “license” for life after high school.

Dreams & Destinations

Life is a journey, and each person will experience it in a different way. By being curious and envisioning our future, we set a forward motion in our life and get motivated to take action. Dreams & Destinations are all of those possible life options (universities, careers, marriage, places to live, etc.) that excite us in the PRESENT moment. They set an initial course for us to follow…unless we get excited by new possibilities and change our route on the way!

• When you think of the future, what do you see yourself doing?
• When you imagine spending 4 years of your life at a university, what are the non-negotiables this place must have?

Resources

Every journey needs the right resources in order to complete it. Keeping an up-to-date toolkit for your specific ride ensures that you will be able to deal with any unexpected events along the way. Planning with the end in mind is a sure way to succeed!

• What do you see yourself doing after high school?
• What are the emotional and thinking skills you’ll need to get you there and to succeed there?
• What can you do now to develop these?

Identity

Each driver has their own identity. Learning about yourself can help you to manage expectations about your journey and the routes you will take to reach your dream destination as well as inspire others with your unique flair!

• How would you describe your personality?
• What might this tell you about the type of college you should apply to?

Values

Being aware of the values we hold will help us in making important choices when we confront roadblocks and forks in the road. Being true to our values helps us to keep from falling into ditches on our journey.

• What are your deepest held values?
• How have your values shaped your decisions?
• In what ways have your values been challenged recently?

Energy

Our energy in life ultimately comes from creating meaning. Emily Esfahani Smith describes meaning as having 4 main foundations: Belonging, Purpose, the story we want to tell, and connecting with something greater than ourselves. (Schwartz ) Add to that the passions we have, and finding meaning gives a powerful boost toward our dream destinations.

• What kind of activities brings you the most satisfaction?
• What type of people bring you the most positive energy when you are with them?
• Do you have a love for engineering, but also play a wicked bass guitar? How might you combine these two passions in the future?

Roadmap & Roadblocks

Your roadmap is your unique set of action steps that set you on the path to your dreams & destinations! Uniquely created by you, they align with your identity, values, and passions. However, unexpected roadblocks can often hinder a journey. Whether external or internal, they keep us from moving forward. Anticipating potential problems and identifying limiting beliefs and emotional triggers can help make the road a lot smoother.

• What are three things you can do right now to get started on the journey you have visualized?
• How does this belief keep you from reaching your goals?

References

Schwartz, Katrina. “Four Pillars of a Meaningful Life That Could Be Part of Every Learning Community”. KQED. Acessado 17 de novembro de 2022.