Self – The Continuous Journey of Self
Self (noun)
A person’s essential being distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action.
According to psychology, the self can be defined as that which encompasses the individual as a whole including all characteristics, attributes, mentality, and conscious and unconscious actions.
My Inspiration
Just like a flower tracks the journey of the sun throughout the day, and then closes its petals up at night to conserve energy (plus odor and pollen) for the daytime when pollinating insects are most active. Similarly, we as individuals inherently know what we need and like many flowers, retire in the evening to rest and restore.
The ‘Self’ coaching model is designed around the understanding that we are all whole, and possess the inner wisdom to be, create, learn, and grow. The ‘Self’ coaching model will support clients in restarting listening to that intuition, tuning into that inner wisdom, understanding what they inherently need, and growing through learning about themselves.
We are as a society constantly bombarded by outside influences that may drown out our inner voice (or at least make it harder to hear), the media, marketing, well-meaning friends, family, and colleagues. The ‘Self’ coaching model will encourage clients to explore their truth, be guided by their own insights that bring about new awareness and learnings, and use reflection to move them into a fulfilling future.
Like a flower’s journey, the continuous journey of ‘Self ’lies between that spectacular bloom and the regenerative stillness.
Client
The ‘Self’ coaching model has been designed with women of a certain age in mind. Women aged approximately 40 – 55 who are typically around this age experience an internal bombardment of hormonal fluctuations, known as peri-menopause and menopause. While a natural process, this phase of a woman’s life can be accompanied by a range of both physical and emotional symptoms that can significantly impact a woman’s well-being.*
During this time, commonly women are also experiencing the busiest period of their lives, juggling children, a professional career, the development of work colleagues, running a household, balancing the budget, the family pet, and potentially aging parents. It is typical* that women tend to put all else ahead of themselves during these busiest periods of their lives, and it is my lived experience of the same that has enlightened me to focus my ‘Self’ coaching model on this group and help to empower them to return to themselves in order to restore balance in their lives.
Process
My inspiration for the ‘Self’ coaching model has a secondary side to it, and that is in the continuous journey of growth toward full bloom in tune with the change of seasons that many plants follow.
The process that the ‘Self’ model follows is similar to plant growth, starting with germination, establishing roots and reaching for more light, then followed by new growth before full bloom.
Breaking Ground, Germination – Sense of Self
A seed of awareness, and germination, the plant breaks the ground surface
- The initial stage is about supporting the client to increase their self-awareness. For them to be able to perceive and understand the things that make them who they are. In becoming self-aware the client is then able to make ‘Self’ the focus of their attention.
Self Awareness tools are available, as are character strengths-based tests to support client growth and awareness. In addition, Gallup’s strengths could be useful for those who are specifically challenged by this time in their life and the corresponding low in professional output.
Establishing the Roots – Exploring Self
Establishing deep roots to sustain life and reaching for the light in order to achieve growth
- The next stage is exploration, supporting the client to identify their purpose and values and to understand the why of themselves.
A tool such as the Personal Values Assessment could be useful during this stage, a short straightforward measure of determining core values and personal belief system.
New growth – Learning Self
After the first growth, we rest and draw from the earth, then the flower begins to appear
- The third stage is supporting the client to create and set goals according to their needs and wants, and importantly setting boundaries in order for them to achieve these goals. Many people feel adrift in the world*, a key reason for this is they haven’t set formal goals for themselves. Goals can be set across any aspect of life from career, to financial, to physical or attitude (mindset).
- In conjunction with our purpose and values, what vision does the client have for themselves – Motivation is the desire to act in servicing a goal. Motivation is one of the driving forces behind human behavior.*
The cognitive triangle tool could be shared at this stage to support the client in their understanding that self-awareness is the key to begin to manage their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and how changing them can improve situations.
In Full Bloom – Reflective Self
Growth has been achieved (the inner work has been done), and now the glory of full bloom
- The final stage of the ‘Self’ model is the stage of acknowledgment and reflection.
- As a coach, I will use acknowledgment to support the building of trust and rapport in my coach-client relationships, but the use of acknowledgment will also support clients to develop greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
- Reflection however is supporting the client to think about, evaluate, and give energy to what they are learning, and how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors change according to what they have learned about themselves. And what is becoming clearer for them during this process?
- The importance of self-reflection is that it leads to greater self-awareness and at the heart of self-awareness is a client that listens to their intuition and is in tune with their inner wisdom.
Tools to support client reflection may include an introduction to a gratitude practice, meditation or breath work, journaling, or a self-reflection questionnaire.
A new seed of awareness starts to germinate …and the journey of Self continues.
Reference
Australasian Menopause Society, 2023
https://womensagenda.com.au/latest/why-do-women-always-put-the-needs-of-others-before-their-own
https://www.mindtools.com/a5ykiuq/personal-goal-setting
https://www.betterup.com/blog/types-of-motivation
https://jamesclear.com/motivation
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/women-socialized-to-be-nice