In the early days of 2006, Aer Arann had an incredibly committed staff and was an amazing place to work. We had grown very big, very quickly. I was working all the hours God would give me, but because of the wonderful atmosphere in the place, I didn’t realize just how stressed I had become. I thought I was in great physical condition. I was running marathons at the time. And yet, I started having dizzy spells. I didn’t tell anyone about them.
Finding Myself Adrift
That January, I was deep in talks with two airlines, Euromanx and Aurginy, which served the Isle of Man and the Channel Islands respectively. The possibility of bringing these two airlines into the Aer Arann family really excited me. While negotiations were progressing, they were also very time consuming. I hadn’t been home to Galway all week and had to go to London on the last Friday of the month to continue the process. I was desperate to see my wife, Caitlín, and the kids, so I asked her to bring them to London. The talking would be finished by five, so we could go and see a show. But the negotiations became torturous. I missed the show, and in the end didn’t get back to the hotel till two in the morning. Despite my exhaustion, I could not sleep. My head teemed with the minutia of the talks and the tangle of interdependent decisions that had to be made.
The following morning, we were halfway down the steps into the underground when the dizziness started again. This time, it didn’t stop. I blacked out in the station and woke up in an ambulance racing to the emergency room.
To repeat: My team and I had built an amazing business; things were going great. Nonetheless, I had almost sleepwalked into my grave. Why? What had gone wrong? Which of the decisions that I had made had turned out to be almost fatal? There are different ways to characterize it, but I would put it like this: I had lost sight of safe harbor.
Safe Harbor
Safe harbor refers to everything in your life that needs to be protected and that offers you protection. The concept may seem sentimental, far-removed from the hard-nosed world of high stakes decision-making, but it’s not. Safe harbor is fundamental to decision-making. Determining what comprises your safe harbor, or indeed your organization’s safe harbor, is critical. In making any decision, the first, and sometimes the only, question you must ask is how that decision impacts your safe harbor.
Your safe harbor has a number of different components, but these four are the most important:
People: Who are the people in my life who give me energy and security? Who are the people who exist for me, and for whom I exist?
Place: We all need a safe, quiet place where we can go when we need to regroup and reenergize. We all need a space, even if it is only a mental space, where we can take a break from the challenges life throws our way, or to reflect on events and plan the next move.
Place can mean any material thing that provides solace and support. When my father died, my brother collected pebbles from the seashore on which my father loved to fish and spread them over his grave. I took one of these pebbles and kept it in the door pocket of my car. It so happened that that’s where I was when I had a heart attack a few years back. I didn’t know it was a heart attack at the time, but something made me reach into the compartment and hold onto that stone. “Dad,” I said, “I need your help here. I’m not going to get through this without you.”
Principles: The values we live by define who we are. In order to have good clarity around your decisions and the type of life they help you to create, it’s really important to get to know yourself and to understand who you are at your core. Otherwise, you will end up a candle in the wind. I’m talking about principles: the way you will be with other people and the way you won’t be. Once you know those principles, you can quickly identify the decisions that will run counter to them and undermine your safe harbor. I’ve often observed the internal conflict and depression that can result when a gap opens up between what you do and your true heart.
Purpose: What is the big why that goes to the core of who you are? Many of us stumble upon purpose through trial or error. We experiment with different ways of living and find a passion in the process. Of course it’s quite possible to be living a life of purpose and yet be unaware of it. However, when that purpose grows stale, you must look further afield. Moreover, purpose often changes over time. My purpose when I was a teacher was to help students be the best that they could be. My purpose in Aer Arann was to build the best regional airline in Europe. And my purpose in life? I met Professor Cynthia Montgomery at Harvard Business School many years ago. During a strategy class, Professor Montgomery said, “Analyze yourself and the world around you. Ask yourself, what is the world with me versus the world without me? Find the gap and make a difference in that space.” I realized then that a drive to make some sort of contribution to the lives of others is what really motivates me. It’s a core element of my own safe harbor; it creates meaning in my life.
Coming Home
In the days that followed my blackout in the underground, I slowly returned to myself. I was allowed to leave the hospital in London on the condition that I immediately check myself into the hospital back home to continue to recuperate, and to conclude the battery of tests that had been commissioned.
I was sitting up in bed, working as hard as ever when Caitlín issued her ultimatum. “You’ve got to make a decision,” she said, “It’s either me and our family or you and your airline.”
She pointed out that I never saw the kids, that my focus on the business was bordering on obsessive, and that it was taking a huge toll on my health.
It was at this point that the world swam back into focus and I could suddenly see my safe harbor and how far I had strayed from it. The following day, I began the search for the person who would take over from me.
Since then, I’ve mentored hundreds of people from all walks of life, all with the aim of helping them to improve the quality of the decisions that they make. This has always involved getting back to basics and determining the components of safe harbor. It’s so easy to remain focused on the deck chairs, as the ship drifts towards the iceberg. Defining safe harbor broadens the focus and allows you to see what’s important through the storm of competing demands, and thereby build a meaningful, coherent life.
Written by Pádraig Ó Céidigh.
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