My Employer Tossed Me Out and Now They Want Me Back: Career Whiplash

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Question:

Two months ago, I lost my job. No warning. No kind words. Not even a thank you for the five years I worked there—the long hours, canceled vacations, how often they used me to train new hires. . ..

Just a cold, clinical email and a system lockout. I felt shocked, hurt, betrayed.

I scrambled to update my resume, chased leads, and tried to hold my head up during interviews that led nowhere. I haven’t found a new job.

This morning, out of nowhere, I got a breezy, friendly email. My old employer wants me back. They’re “restructuring” and apparently, I’m valuable again.

Part of me longs to scream no way, to shove whatever they offer me back in their faces. It’s like hearing from an ex who broke your heart but now says he’s “been doing a lot of thinking.”

What do I do? I need a job. But if I go back, will I betray myself?

Answer:

So, the employer that dumped you is crawling back—like an apologetic ex, sliding into your inbox with a corporate, “Hey, you up?”

Two months ago, they ghosted you. Now they’re breezy, like you’re two old friends catching up, not exes with baggage. Meanwhile, you’ve been stress-refreshing LinkedIn and eating rejection emails for breakfast. Do you swallow your emotional whiplash and kiss and make up?

Before you cue up Dua Lipa’s IDGAF’s and hammer out a reply dripping with “you call me all friendly, but I’m not buying it” energy—maybe with Taylor Swift’s “we are never getting back together” blaring in the background, take a breath. Let’s talk strategy.

Getting laid off without a decent goodbye bruises the ego. It shatters trust. Being asked to come back without any acknowledgment of what that layoff cost you can feel like being asked to pretend your heartbreak never happened. But don’t let those bruised feelings hijack your power—because you have it. You know your employer’s systems. You’ve already proven yourself. They don’t want a new hire—they want a sure bet who can hit the ground running. Now you get to ask: What’s in it for me?

Here’s how to approach this without betraying yourself or your best interests.

1. Get clear on your own priorities.

Do you want the job back? Does your former employer offer you a paycheck or a path forward? Would going back feel comforting or like crawling back into a regret pit?

Think practically:

• Are you job searching with momentum?
• How’s your financial runway?
• Is this the best offer on the table—or just the only one right now?

2. Negotiate like they owe you.

Use the leverage you have. Ask for more money, more flexibility, or a title bump. Don’t just take the same old job back under the same old terms. If they want you to forgive and forget, make them show their gratitude in dollars and perks. Think of it as emotional hazard pay.

3. Don’t ignore the breakup details.

For them, laying you off may have been a business decision. For you, being laid off parallels what happens when you’re part of a relationship that breaks up. Why did you break up, and how did you break up?

How they handled your exit matters. Did they cut ties cleanly or leave you dangling in silence? Did anyone check in? If they left you in the cold, now’s the time to ask: do they deserve you back?

If they’ve had turnover in leadership or are actively correcting course (read: realizing they cut too deep), that could matter. But if they’re just patching a hole in the dam with the same old duct tape, proceed with caution—and maybe a backup plan.

4. What feels right for you?

If your gut says this will never sit right, don’t let fear dress up as practicality. Keep job hunting.

But, if you’d love to return, and they offer to sweeten the deal, walk back with your head up.

(c) 2025 Lynne Curry, SPHR